Access Denied
by A Thief A Pharaoh A Priest
Summary: Joey's may or may not be getting any tonight...or is he? Tell me if you like these oneshots and I'll post more. Contains immature behavior and suggestive themes
1. Chapter 1

**Access Denied**

_Oneshot_

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"Seto! Come on!" Joey barked as he attempted to yank the covers off of his boyfriend, "I did what you said now you have to hold up your end of the deal."

"Joey, I'm tired. I have a half dozen meetings tomorrow and I don't want to be losing anymore sleep because you want to mess around." Seto snapped as he gripped the sheets tighter.

"All you have to do it roll over and spread em. It's not like you do much else anyway." Joey muttered as he refused to give up, "It's only going to add up in the end if you keep putting it off."

Joey finally was able to pull the sheets away from his boyfriend as pushed him on to his back, "Why do you wear so much to bed?" Joey asked as he straddled Seto started unbuttoning his pj top, "Things like this are a waste of time."

"Joey!" Seto shouted, "I said no." Seto pushed Joey off and wrapped himself in the sheets again. Joey sat beside him and pouted.

"Do you have so kinda kink that there has to be the possibility of being caught in the act or something?"

"What?"

"We have sex all the time at your place and Mokuba's right across the hall. Even when my dad's sleeping out on the couch you're always ready to go. But when ever we're completely alone you get all selfish."

"Selfish?"

"Yeah! Selfish."

Seto sat up and glared at Joey. Normally when they had a fight the guest at the particular home would leave. This wasn't something Joey liked happening at all. The last time they fought was about this exact issue and Seto stormed out. He'd followed all the way down to the ground floor of his apartement building and in the process they got the attention of all the other tenants. And to make matters worse Joey had forgotten he had ran out in nothing but his underwear.

"I'm not the one being selfish here Joey." Seto told him as to sat up right, "Yes, I prefer to have someone else around when we have sex. Because do you remember the safety word we decided?"

"It's it like God save the Queen or something?"

"Good you remember. So tell me something Joey almost every single time we've had sex what do I SAY when you're starting to hurt me?"

Joey stared blankly at him and shrugged his shoulders

"GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!" Seto shouted and hit Joey upside his head, "You could have killed me last night if your dad hadn't started banging on the door!"

"Why don't you tell me these things!"

"Joey, you go on the offensive everytime I attempt to talk to you about your performance! You had a fit when I told you to buy the right size condoms, for once."

"Cuz you make it seem like I'm as big as a pencil when you say shit like that and you said it in front of Mokuba!"

"Well, there's nothing I can do about you lack of self-confidence." Seto said as he went over to his overnight bag and pulled out his street clothes.

"So you're leaving."

"Only way I'm going to get anything sleep tonight." He said as he took his nightshirt off.

Joey bit his lip as he watched Seto undress, "Come on Seto don't be like that. I promise I'll be gentler."

Seto stopped and looked at Joey, "Gentler? That's not ahhh!" Joey tackled Seto to the floor, "Joey! What the hell!"

"Come on Seto! Let me show you what I can do!"

"NO! GET OFF ME!" Seto shouted as he forced Joey off him and quickly got dressed to leave, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye." Joey said as he stared hornily at his closed bedroom door, "Where's that lotion."


	2. Chapter 2

Due to the fact to people have this story on alert I've decide to make this a two-shot but that's it. Nothing more after this. Got it! It won't hurt to get a review. I mean 124 visitor, 131 hits, 3 favorites and two alerts but 0 REVIEWS. Something ain't right here.

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Joey held his boyfriend in a tight embrace as they lay on his massive bed. Joey continuously squeezed Seto's butt through his pants. It was very firm yet soft but smooth and squeezable. Joey couldn't help himself so he.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL JOEY!" Kaiba shouted at he pushed Joey away from him.

"WHAT? WHAT NOW?"

"You just hit me!"

"What?"

"Two seconds ago you hit me right on the ass! What's your problem!"

"I don't have a problem!"

"Obviously you do!"

"I just thought you'd like getting spanked that's all."

"Who the hell likes getting spanked?"

"Some people have that kink." Joey said as he attempted to defuse the argument, "It's my mistake. Sorry" Joey moved in on Seto but was pushed away again.

"Why would you think I'd like something like that?"

"I don't know." Joey lied as he attempt to get at Seto again.

"Joey. No." Seto said pushing Joey back, "Answer me."

"Fine!" Joey said as he gave in, "I just noticed that you've gained a little weight and it all went to your butt so I don't know it made me want to smack it."

"So I'm fat."

"I never said you were fat!"

"You just said I'd put on weight."

"Yeah, but-"

"Goodbye Joseph."

"Seto come on. Why do you take everything so personal?" Joey pleaded, as he was forced out of Seto's massive bed.

"First you assault me and then you insult me. GET OUT!" Seto shouted as he through Joey's clothes at him.

"You're unbelievable!"

"GET OUT!"


	3. Chapter 3

This isn't related to the first two chapters at all. So don't be confused. Obvious Puppyshipping and hint of toonshipping

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Seto opened his eyes frankly to his own amazement. After a night of heavy drinking he was even surprised to wake up in a bed. Whose bed exactly was another mystery. Seto attempted to sit up but discovered that he was pinned to the bed by someone else's body. Only to make matters worse the stranger was resting peacefully in between his open legs. Seto hand hovered over the man's back as he tried to figure out what to do about this situation.

Seto tapped the man on his side only to strike excitement from the other, down below.

"I have to get to work." Seto said quietly causing the man to stir from his sleep. He pushed himself up so they met face to face, "JOEY!"

"I told you I was going to get you back." He said still not moving from his place on top of the young CEO.

"Get off!" Seto shouted pushing the blond off of him and began to collect his clothes that were gracefully scattered around the room.

"You were singing a completely different tune last night. You made noises I've never heard before." Joey teased as he rested against the headboard.

"This never happened." Seto repeated to himself over and over again aloud.

"Yeah, it did and you enjoyed it."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Yep, the dirty talk is still good." He said as he hopped out of bed and over to his former boyfriend, in his birthday suit, "You said I'd never get you in bed again and look what happened! By the way can you count to five?"

"Why?"

"Because that's how many rounds we went." He said a bit too proud of himself, "I honestly would have been satisfied with maybe just two rounds but you had your legs wrapped around me sooo tight."Joey laughed to himself as he watched Seto continue to get dressed, "What are you going to tell him?"

"Don't bring him up."

"Why not? Isn't he the reason you're freaking out?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you're freaking out because you know you'll be thinking of me all day and when you're with him."

"….Goodbye." Seto said as he left Joey's apartment.

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Read and Revie

Tell me it you like these random oneshots


	4. Chapter 4

"Name someone that if given the opportunity you'd totally bone." Joey said as he laid next to his boyfriend.

They'd spent the entire day with each other much to Seto dislike but Joey had fun so he was happy. It had been months since the cheating question and Joey had been good about not bring up questions like that but now his run was over.

"Why would you ask a question like that?" Seto asked as he felt his annoyance levels rising, "I thought we agreed that you wouldn't ask questions like that."

"Yeah, I know but humor me for a second. I know who I'd want to have a free pass with but I was wondering if you did."

"Joey, I hardly think about fooling around with you what makes you think I'd think about anyone else."

"So you're telling me you don't have any secret crushes on anyone." Joey said sitting up, "I don't think I believe you."

"I barely like you Joey." Seto said shifting his eyes away from Joey's golden brown ones, "Stop hovering over me like that."

"Come on stop being so defensive. I know you gotta like fantasize about somebody else. Everybody does it." Joey said caressing Seto's face softly, "Just tell me."

Seto glazed up into Joey's eyes, Seto had noticed that Joey had been trying to manipulate him a lot recently, failing every time but he didn't like it either way, "You tell me yours and I'll consider it."

Joey smiled, "I've always liked Marik. There's no one quite like him here. Now that he's gotten his bipolar disorder taken care of. He's not bad looking either. Blondes do have more fun. He's always ready for any kind of activity, whether it's a morning jog or a night on the town. I always wondered if I wasn't with you then would I have had a chance with him." Joey rolled over onto his side propping himself up onto his elbow, "I'm totally in the mood now."

"That's unfortunate." Seto said slapping Joey's hand away.

"What?"

"You just talked about how much you want to fuck Marik and now you want to try and fuck me? I know who you'll be thinking about."

"Oh come on!" Joey said pulling Seto into a bear hug, "I didn't mean it like that. Come on tell me who you fantasize about."

"Pegasus."

"WHAT!"

"You asked."


	5. Chapter 5

**Just something short and funny for my Puppyshipping fan readers. **

Joey knew he was going to regret what he was about to do before he even did it. He knew he would be in the dog house for days, weeks, months even but he couldn't help but commit the mother of all relationship felonies. It definitely wasn't the easiest thing to pull off unnoticed, for the most part; he was after all enjoying himself and receiving an act even rarer than having sex with his boyfriend. The sound of gagging was the first thing he heard before spitting and gasping.

"SHIT! JOEY! YOU PROMISED!" Seto shouted just before a second shot hit him in the eye, "AHH!" Seto screamed as he stumbled into his bathroom to run his face under the faucet.

Joey laughed at Seto's reaction to the attempt to added extra protein to his diet.

"Stop fucking laughing! I should have known I couldn't trust you!"

"Don't be such a baby. It's not the bad." Joey said as he strutted into the bathroom.

"It's burns!" Seto screamed at the blonde, "I could go blind."

"I only got you in one eye."

"You were aiming?" Seto shouted as he emptied an entire bottle of eye drops into his left eye, "You're sick!"

"I wasn't aiming really. You just pulled back too soon and didn't get out of the way fast enough. After all you were in away asking for it. "

"Shut up!" Seto screamed as he threw the empty bottle away, "It burns! Why does it still burn!"

"You still have some on your lips." Joey laughed.


End file.
